strange TIMES

Winter Edition #4 December, 1995 p#4

The Mystery Unfolds

a strange TIMES investigative report by Alice Liddell

Sources close to the investigation of the alleged death of former jamie strange guitarist, Peter Papadopoulos report that the authorities are still quite baffled. Since the actual body was never recovered, the charges agains the elusive jamie were dropped. jamie recently out of hiding, had decided to pursue the case. "I will not give up my search," states a beleaguered jamie. "I will take the law in my own hands until I find the truth!"
A photographic clue was recently received by this reporter here at the TIMES. Our human resources department cannot determine the whereabouts of this cemetery. Anyone with information regarding this case can contact jamie at the address on page one.

World News Report by Angela Grano	Sports by jamie
Across the globe, natural highs are being replaced by synthetic counter parts. In France, a new pill has just entered the market which, when chewed, can simulate the sensation of breathing clean Vermont air. Columbian marijuana, when smoked properly, can simulate the sensation of swimming in a body of clear blue wa ter filled with fish, and new improved crack can simulate sunsets before your very eyes. Experts predict that by the year 2000, we will all be having sex with our computers absolutely AIDS free!	It's winter and that means it's time to take to the slopes! First, I'd like to take sometime to go over some safety tips. Don't take this lightly, a few precautions can make sure you have fun without risking personal injury. Remember, preparation only takes a few minutes and is well worth it. Choose your slope carefully, don't start offon anything too steep, there's plenty of time for that later. Start at the top, be prepared mentally and physically. Breathe, focus and let go! Don't skimp on equipment. Use only the brand name... Slinky.

World News Report by Angela Grano

Sports by jamie

Across the globe, natural highs are being replaced by synthetic counter parts. In France, a new pill has just entered the market which, when chewed, can simulate the sensation of breathing clean Vermont air. Columbian marijuana, when smoked properly, can simulate the sensation of swimming in a body of clear blue wa ter filled with fish, and new improved crack can simulate sunsets before your very eyes. Experts predict that by the year 2000, we will all be having sex with our computers absolutely AIDS free!

It's winter and that means it's time to take to the slopes! First, I'd like to take sometime to go over some safety tips. Don't take this lightly, a few precautions can make sure you have fun without risking personal injury. Remember, preparation only takes a few minutes and is well worth it. Choose your slope carefully, don't start offon anything too steep, there's plenty of time for that later. Start at the top, be prepared mentally and physically. Breathe, focus and let go! Don't skimp on equipment. Use only the brand name... Slinky.