strange TIMES
Late Summer/Early Fall issue #3 September, 15 1995 p#2
The World According to Angela
What are all these things we surround ourselves with? They make us feel so good but we can't ever take them with us, anytime. Things get lost. Things get misplaced. The comforts of home can burn in an instant and all that one is left with is what remains within. That's why I'm scared for this country, scared for the world. Our Plastic-Coated Disney Lands and Cotton-Candy Good-Job Dreams just aren't holding up in life and when the roller coaster comes crashing, I wont be screaming or picking up the plastic pieces because I'm looking for lakes again. I might have to start with the swamps and bugs but I'm reaching... reaching for blue sky... reaching for mountain high... reaching for drum-beat, heart-beat, for signs of LIFE! Because all I can see are dead-end jobs at Taco Bell and K-mart, Wall Street and Aetna. I see paper being wasted and TV getting dumber and commercials getting louder and LOUDER and LOUDER! We can fucking hear, OK AT&T and your "true" voice? Maybe some of us are tuning you out on purpose. .. maybe some of us are trying to hide from you, you bad tigers. Maybe we don't feel like BUYING anything because nothing we can buy actually makes us feel any better. Maybe Pepsi is RAT POISON and it's NOT going to make my summer. What would have made my summer is if I could have gone outside someplace and hung out with the animals. But instead I'm offered garbage dumps and beer cans, bull-dozers and shopping malls, and oh yeah... people, people every where. More fucking people, annoying and nasty ones, too.
Now some of you might think these sound like the words of a paranoid schizophrenic. Oh contraire, mon frere: It is you who is living 'paranoid' and 'schizophrenic'. It is you who lives deathly afraid of going after what you want, therefore you are forced to live TWO lives: one inside your head and one outside of it- the one in the 'real world'. Well, one day I woke up, up, and decided to introduce my inner head to my outer head. Here's how their meeting went;
O.H. "hello?"
I.H. "Hello! It's nice to meet you. I've heard a great deal about you. Come on in, I'm dying to chat! " (they closed the door... actually left it open a crack... and the rest is history.)
Can I tell you a little about happiness? Have you ever felt so happy that you felt tingles similar to orgasm creeping around the base of your spine and pelvis? I have, and do... now. I wish you could feel that type of happiness. One deeper than sex. I bet you'd like to know the secret...
The secret of happiness (for me anyway) is to GO AFTER WHAT YOU WANT IN LIFE! If you love somebody, tell them, dammit! If you want to dance, then dance. Sing with Gusto! Reduce waste and recycle when you can. Ever since I have done just that, life has felt livable for once. So...ldon't need Disneyworld or Reebok pumps. I'd just like a little Ma Ma Earth back.
That's what I'll strive for, if anything... to bring her back.
